Every Wednesday night, Joylani and I attend one of our church’s small-groups. Each week there’s a POW (person of the week), who volunteers to share something they’re struggling with. The cool thing about it is that the group only listens and then prays for the person, rather that trying to solve the person’s problems or give advice. It makes it easier to share, and after hearing others, I often find that my problems aren’t unique to me.
Last night, I was the POW and I shared about doubt. I shared that it’s often hard for me to accept some of Christianity’s answers to life’s tough questions. I anticipate this to become even more of a challenge on the road, for although travel always expands my thinking and perspective, it also challenges my beliefs. Travel elicits new questions and demands re-evaluation of old answers. And even though I’m determined to keep an open mind and I know its good to be challenged, I also know I’m going to feel the burden of continually questioning myself. It feels like there’s a tension between having an open-mind and keeping my faith.
To face my doubt and grow spiritually, Joylani and I have a couple hopes. One is to meet and get to know some Christians in different countries, living in totally different contexts. Its difficult for me to see how accepting Christ is going to change a low-caste laborer’s life in India. But perhaps if we go to an Indian church and meet one, my faith will grow. It would be interesting to meet a Christian in Muslim Indonesia or Communist China, if not just see how their beliefs, lives, and faith differ from my own. Secondly, Joylani and I hope that we’ll find some opportunities to volunteer and serve the regions that we visit. Whether its helping a church or volunteering with a non-profit/NGO, we want to serve the less fortunate.