Three Months and Counting…

We’ve been on the road for just over three months now. That’s 13 countries, 32 different beds, 9 nights on the road, and close to 300 meals eaten from someone else’s kitchen. There are still at least 9 months to go, 10+ countries, 1,200 more meals, and I hate to think about how many more times I’ll have to pack my backpack as we move to yet another hotel. The destinations aren’t so bad though. We’ve seen the Eiffel Tower, the Hermitage, Alps, the Acropolis, the Aya Sofia, Himalayas…snow, desert, jungle, ocean, mountains…without a doubt it has been a good trip so far, but it has not been without some tough moments. About a month and a half in, I realized that long-term travel isn’t what I prefer. Traveling for three or four weeks at a time is my preference. Unfortunately, by the time I realized this, Matt and I had already quit our jobs, terminated the lease on our apartment, doled out furniture to friends and family, and packed the rest of our belongings into our parent’s garages.

It is not that I wish I hadn’t agreed to this trip. And I knew before hand I would miss home, family and friends, routine. That was predictable, but I also knew I had no way of knowing how experiencing those feelings in the context of continually being on the road would actually be. So how does it feel? It feels conflicting. At the same time that I would rather be home eating food from Trader Joe’s as I wait for my laundry to come out of the dryer than face the planned duration of our trip, I quickly dismiss the thought of skipping out on the countries Matt and I have dreamed of visiting. I love traveling and am enjoying the places we go. We have been blessed with an amazing opportunity and the time and youthfulness to take advantage of it.

On India
Two of our months on the road have been in India. I can’t say that India is my favorite country I’ve been to, but it definitely has been interesting. As we go from state to state, each place we visit has its own distinct flavor, almost as if we’ve gone to another country rather than just another part of India. The cities, towns, and villages we have been are so different from the others, and not just in landscape and geographic location. Hopefully you’ve been able to pick-up from our posts that each stop on our itinerary has had a distinctive combination of ethnicity, religion, language, architecture, attire, industry, cuisine, weather, the craziness (or as some fellow travelers put it, the “bizzaro world” factor). As my father-in-law says of red wine, “You just haven’t tried one you like yet.” If you find India completely disagreeable, it’s not that you don’t like India; you just haven’t been to a part you like yet. And that’s why, despite the troubles we’ve encountered in health, transportation, lodging, etc. and despite the deeply entrenched social problems—sanitation, litter, poverty—I can say we’ve had a good time in India.

India is mind boggling on so many levels, and I am truly glad to have had the opportunity to see what I have. There is simply no comparison to reading about India or just seeing pictures. Some things can be captured in a photo: a child’s sweet face, the beauty of a mountain, a piece of an ancient temple. But even a professional photographer’s work can’t truly convey a toddler’s ramblings, the grandness of being swallowed in the Himalayas, or the warm breeze blowing through temple columns as it did 500 years before.  India may have a pomegranate’s pulp of problems, but it is filled with sweet jewels in every nook and cranny.

Insightful moms
Adjustments are a necessity when traveling. These are manifested in various ways from changing one’s behavior (wearing culturally appropriate attire); picking up new habits (brushing teeth with bottled water); and shifting perspectives (what is noisy?). Habits and behavioral changes are easiest to pick out. It could be as simple as putting on sunscreen everyday before going out because you are so close to the equator and the sun is freaking HOT. But some adjustments (such as a change in perspective) can sneak up on you, and it’s not until someone else points it out that you realize how you’ve adapted. Moms are great for this purpose. After going on a bit of a phone hiatus in Leh, once we got back to Delhi, Matt and I were able to talk with each of our moms. I like moms because they know the right questions to ask, they fill you in on what’s going on at home, and they’re always a little concerned about something. It always feels nice to know that someone is concerned for your well being, doesn’t it? On top of all that, moms are insightful. At least ours are. J

Matt’s mom called us on our cell while we were walking on a side street from the internet café back to our hotel. It was relatively quiet compared to earlier in the day, but there was still a little background noise.

Matt’s mom: “Where ARE you? Is that someone honking?”

Matt: “Uh, just walking to the hotel, I think someone honked down the street.”

Matt’s mom: “That is the most background noise I’ve ever heard!”

Matt: “Uh…”

Matt’s mom: “You are in a crazy place and don’t even know it anymore!”

Always insightful, she definitely had a point. Our perception on things has definitely changed. Noise. Privacy. Hotel and facility standards. Wardrobe. Wore the shirt yesterday? Does it smell? Just a little? It’s ok to wear it again because you’re just going to sweat anyway.

Talking with my mom brought up the same insight. After catching up on the usual stuff with my mom, she marveled at how I had been able to survive thus far with the bug and toilet conditions over the past month in the mountains. I agreed that it was amazing to me too, but pointed out that I had help from my “Potty Guard,” aka Matt, who stood as the lookout during bathroom breaks on our bus and jeep rides through the mountains. She laughed and responded, “I guess you just develop a different sense of privacy.” That’s for sure. In the states I would never even think about going outside of a gas station, especially with people nearby. In the mountains in India, well, that’s another matter. As for the bugs, I do what I can to avoid them, but there’s only so much I can do, and I simply have had to accept it. It is much easier to laugh in hindsight than to be regularly overcome by my phobias. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate bugs, but I’ve had to toughen up on how I deal with them and adapt my responses to the reality at hand.

A shift in perspectives is necessary to survive in a different place. A change in perspective is often followed by a change in expectations. For example, if I had the same point of view as I do at home on cleanliness I would hardly ever eat out on the road, and most likely would obsessively limit myself to eating packaged crackers and bananas. Similarly, my expectations for hotel lodging have changed too. Small cockroaches don’t mean you have to switch rooms. All the hotels on the street probably have them anyways. Getting “used to” a place or lifestyle is in many ways a result of this change in perspectives and expectations. Adapting to a new environment doesn’t just happen when you go to a new country. It happens at home all the time on a micro-level as one adjusts to different contexts. For example, office norms (suits, low voices, communication highly valued) are a world away from the norms in the bleachers at a Giants game (ball caps, spitting, shouting, “Off the phone!”—communication with outsiders looked down upon). Or consider someone in a bathing suit. This attire is acceptable for the beach, but a little trashy for the classroom. These small contextual adjustments we make can be easily identified, yet we don’t really think about them too much as they are happening. This is because we’re used to them. Likewise, Matt and I have become used to the way things happen on the road. The weather, culture, a civilization’s habits aren’t going to change so much as the way you see them changes. Not that I am the master of this, and my periodic tire of travel is in part due to the places where I am unable to sufficiently shift my perspective to the place I am in.

Sometimes I wonder what we’ll be like when I get home. Will I have an urge to hang a clothesline indoors and wash cloths in the sink? Will I eat with my hands before going for a fork? Will I jaywalk on busy streets, making my way through oncoming traffic like Frogger? Probably not. I’m sure I’ll revert back. But I am glad to have people like moms to help notice changes along the way so that I can appreciate the cultural differences and norms that have developed in different places, and even in myself, out of the basic need to simply survive.

Looking Ahead
Over the next three months we plan to continue our journey in three countries with vastly different cuisine, culture, and terrain. Stay turned for the continuing adventures of the HomelessHapas in the Maldives, Nepal, and Thailand!